AARP Magazine says men in their 60’s have a 3.4 percent chance of living to 100. Women…. 6.5%. So around five people out of a hundred.
For his 100th birthday, a man hired an escort who said she would give him “super sex”. He replied, “I’ll take the soup.”
Our buddy woke up early last Saturday, got dressed, made lunch, tossed some beers in the cooler, and slipped quietly into the garage. He hooked the boat to the truck and then remembered to check the weather report. Torrential rains and high winds. So he un-hitched the boat, went back into the house, undressed, and quietly slipped back into bed. Hoping for another kind of action, he cuddled up to his wife and whispered, “The weather outside is horrible.”
His wife replied, “And can you believe my idiot husband is out fishing in that?”
– Jet Cannon
Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
Steve Martin
Quote: Listcabootle.com
When a mellow Buzz just isn’t quite enough, try mixing boats and booze and Blue Angels. That’s Seafair!
– Jet Cannon
Photos: Komonews.com and Seafair.com
Boat: Courtesy of Maserati Mike
We missed an important Baby Boomer birthday this last weekend. As NPR reported,
“July 31, 2022 — is the birthday of the dopey patriarch from the vintage cartoon, The Jetsons.”
Here’s how the math works: The show first aired in 1962, but was set 100 years in the future. That would be 2062. During the first season of the show, George reveals that he’s 40 years old. So 2062 minus 40, and there you go.”
“We’ve already got talking watches, robot vacuums and flat-screen TVs. “
That’s all good but we thought we’d have flying cars by now. Sad.
Photo: Closerweekly.com
Alert Buzzed Boomer Research Analyst Princess S noticed this product review Tweet and passed it along.
Beth Sullivan. Verified Purchase. 48 Liquid caps.
“Spider dreams guaranteed. Got these for a transatlantic flight from Seattle. Took effect about 20 minutes from consumption. I slept for about 4 hours and continued to use them to adjust to the timezone change. Every night I had the same dream about a spider wrapping me in a web very tightly and speaking backwards. It seemed very scared and was furious I could not understand what it was trying to say. 20 years passed in the dream world and eventually the spider and I became close friends and four years later we were married. Understandably our differences were too much and our relationship fell apart from the inside. My infidelity was the last straw and we never recovered from the betrayal. I would always wake up right before we signed the divorce papers. I had this same dream every night for 6 days. Great product. Highly recommend.“
Luckily, we don’t know exactly what this product is.
Easy Rider was released on July 14, 1969. That’s fifty-three years ago. Dennis Hopper, Peter Fonda, and Jack Nicholson starred in what is now a counterculture classic. Get your motor runnin’……..
Roving, Raging Correspondent Hunter S. sampled some cleverly-named cocktails and shots at The Dogtown Roadhouse in Floyd, Virginia. Try the $5 shooter Dirty Bong Water (Spiced Rum, Blue Curacao, Melon Liquor, Sour Mix). How about a Liquid Marijuana shooter (Spiced Rum, Melon Liquor, Coconut Rum, Blue Curacao, Sour Mix, Pineapple Juice)? Got the munchies? Follow those up with a Dreamsicle Cocktail (Vanilla Vodka, Moylan’s Orange Craft Soda Topped with Whipped Cream and Sugar).
Only in America. Cheers!
– Jet Cannon
Not the Hell’s Angels kind. There are Buzzed Boomers out there still riding the Harleys. But we’re talking bicycles. When the knees start to go and running, softball and high-impact sports become more painful than fun, a number of Baby Boomers have turned to bicycles as a low-impact way to stay in shape. Benefits include strengthening muscle groups used in maintaining balance and strength (ie, quadriceps), enjoyment, autonomy, and improved cardiovascular function. It will help you lose weight, stay strong, avoid chronic illness, stay mentally alert and live longer. There are some safety concerns regarding cycling for seniors, but they shouldn’t dissuade you.
Neighbor Art joined some other seniors for regular joint rides. Long John prefers solo rides and has knocked out 600 plus rides since the beginning of 2020.
There are lots more bike paths out there than when we were kids. Check it out.
– Jet Cannon
National Day Calendar says,
“On July 7th, raise a toast to the place where friends gather and memories are made. It’s National Dive Bar Day!
From the one-time speakeasy to the little hole-in-the-wall, the dive bar is like an old pair of jeans; it just fits right. During the week, we can stop in, our team will be playing on the TV, and the beverages will be icy cold. The same dart and pool leagues meet every year, and familiar faces go head to head.”
Started by Seagram’s 7 Crown, celebrate 7/7 with a Seven & Seven and support your local dive!
– Jet Cannon
Endorphins are the good neurotransmitters just waiting to be released into your brain. They’re great for boosting our mood and relieving minor pain. Who couldn’t use more of that? So let’s review the list:
– Sex (preferably while listening to rock & roll)
– Drugs (okay, chocolate, which contains tryptophan which can release endorphins; for best results, eat during sex)
– Rock & Roll (your favorite music can drive the release of endorphins; see Sex above)
But what else besides sex, drugs, and rock & roll releases endorphins?
– Exercise (see Sex above)
– Aromatherapy (try a whiff of vanilla extract)
– Laughter (may want to avoid this one during sex)
Talk to your doctor before trying any of the above and before getting out of bed in the morning, just to be safe.
– Jet Cannon
Get ready. National Day Calendar reports that July is National Hemp Month. “For more than 80 years, laws banning cannabis also exiled hemp, even though it’s not intoxicating. As a crop, it helps clean pollutants from the soil. Hemp also provides a rich source of CBD, the hottest new addition to the health and wellness world.”
The Interweb says, “CBD is used by many people — including older adults (that’s us) — to help ease pain and discomfort associated with common ailments, including joint pain, overall pain management, and anxiety and depression. However, it’s always best to talk with a doctor before trying CBD.”
Okay. Out of an abundance of caution we will talk with a doctor but we won’t be mentioning our plan to try CBD.
– Jet Cannon
Remember back in the day when a new album would come out and we’d gather at a friends house to listen to the whole thing? Both sides.
Booze and Vinyl: A Spirited Guide To Great Music & Mixed Drinks is a beautiful book by Andre Darlington & Tanaya Darlington that helps us recapture the magic of music and friends paired with mixed drinks. They’ve selected some excellent LP’s in rock, chill, dance, and seduce categories and suggested a couple of appropriate drink recipes with each.
For example, Queen – A Night At The Opera is pared with a Coronation Cocktail for Side A and a Bohemian Cocktail for Side B. The book advises that “Before You Drop The Needle”, invite guest to wear their most heinous sweaters and bring casseroles. And be sure to queue up the video of Queen at Live Aid 1985, one of the greatest live performances of all time.
Coronation Cocktail
Stir ingredients with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass.
Bohemian Cocktail
Shake with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass.
Then toast to Freddie Mercury!
– Jet Cannon
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