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Like Water for Chocolate

Do I like vodka? Not really. But not not really either. C’mon, it’s vodka!! It’s stealthy, I’ll admit that. My personal lasting early impression of the stuff – aside from waking up bleary, a ~16 yo, next to a seagull pecking at trash near my high school face, the morning after an ill-advised alcoholic score – is of the girl with the really reeeally long hair in 11th grade with her huge macrame purse that ‘concealed’ her bottle. Vodka is, and ever has been to my mind, just like that…clear and pure and clean. The perfect liquor, which is to say, the most serviceable but also the most dismissible. Doesn’t smell like anything. Nobody ever said, ‘you stink like a vodka factory’. It should taste like…ethylic alcoholic water… nothing!! It should taste like nothing. Only it so f’s you up. No notes is good notes!!! I’ll have me some gin please!  But I digress.

Au nyet. Madison Avenue (is there still a Madison Avenue??!?) disagrees strongly. So did the Europe Union, recently quibbling over what vodka ‘is’, which led to the Schnellhardt Compromise. Something about alcohol content or the kind of potatoes or whatever, but a compromise. I guess that’s good, we certainly don’t want any more unpleasantness among the Eastern Euro people. 

But come the mother f__ on!! It’s vodka, Fricken vodka!!  The less taste the better, everybody knows that!! It’s neutral. And yet (see pics), my local BevMo has many many many many ‘varieties’ of The Vodka. Some of them behind glass, lock and key. Call an associate for that $weet $tuff!

It’s like water. Wahh..ter. Where I grew up – Maryland – Wuoouh-der. Let’s face it, the best water tastes like…absolut nothing. Nothing at all. But again, the ad men would disagree. There IS a difference…you can TASTE the difference.  Your mouth can FEEL the difference.  Just tryyyy it!

I really can’t/won’t. Vodka gets you buzzed, and the cops can’t smell it. Good water is nice like air; you don’t need to think about it. Good water tastes like nothing at all. And good vodka tastes like the 11th grade.

  • OldManWrong

RV Curious?

For those of you who sometimes wonder if you would enjoy the blacktop nomad life, or alternately, are so certain that you would hate it that you want to read about it with lurid curiosity and schadenfreude – read on. I’ve detailed what life inside (and outside) of Stanely Skystream the Silver Armadillo (his formal title) is like.

Hunter S.

Coffee and Cosmos

Coffee and Cosmos

What do people in the state with the oldest population, in median age, prefer for their libations?  Well, Maine gets the honors for having the most people leaning towards the Baby Boomer years.  The best selling spirit in Maine is Allen’s Coffee Brandy.  Nice for cold weather.  However, the most popular cocktail is apparently the Cosmopolitan.  Interesting combination.  We’re not sure what to make of that!

– Scuba Robin

cosmopolitan, cocktail, drink
laurel wreath, wreath, accolade

Literary Award

Congratulations to the editorial staff at Buzzed Boomer for receiving their first ever nomination for a Pulitzer Prize for Outstanding Journalism. Nicely done, team. Look for a little something extra in your pay envelope this week!

  • Jet Cannon, Editor-in-Chief

sculpture, theodor mommsen, historian

Mellow Buzz

A mellow Buzz is just what the Buzzed Boomer staff doctor would order, assuming we had a staff doctor.  And Kat Odell answered the bell with “Day Drinking, 50 Cocktails for a Mellow Buzz”.  Available from Amazon, the book has recipes with great pictures and uses beer, wine, cider, sake, sherry, vermouth and more to create low alcohol by volume drinks.  Perfect for long sunny days or for just cutting back on the alcohol.  

– Princess Colleen

drink, cocktail, beach

Pickleball

Need some exercise?  Pickleball is a sport that virtually any age can play.  Based on the Single Sport Participation Report of the Sports & Fitness Industry Association (SFIA) on Pickleball, 75% of Core Players are 55 and older (defined as players who play 8 or more times per year).

My wife and I have all the gear.  Racquets, balls, shoes, sweatbands, and bags for all our gear.  Someday we will actually step on to a court.  Looking forward to it though.  Do what I say and not what I do. 

– Jet Cannon

Cold Brew Coffee – Super-Size Me

Spring and summer mean you might want an iced coffee instead of the usual hot brew.  Cold brew coffee, brewed differently, is supposed to be sweeter and less acidic than regular coffee.  I don’t notice much difference but I did notice how expensive it tended to be being marketed in little pricey bottles.  Well, now there’s a super-size version that’s a little easier to swallow price-wise.  Thank you.

– Jet Cannon

dutch coffee, 4137 coffee, 4137 dutch coffee
person holding strawberry ice cream

Sugar, Carbs, and Calories

Buzz off bad boys!  All three are bad for the beach body we’ll need this spring and summer.  Hence the hard seltzer craze.  These beverages are lower in all three.  Now, 100 non-nutritional calories per can is not exactly healthy but it beats most beer, wine and liquor options.  The alcohol content is also lower making summertime parties a little safer.

The fun part is the number of choices is growing as all the big beverage makers are jumping on the bandwagon e.g. Bud Light Seltzer.  Lots of subtle fruity flavors.  “Here, try one of mine!”  The millennials seem to have claimed White Claw.  If Baby Boomers have a favorite brand, please let me know.  I want that one.  

– Jet Cannon

 

Photo courtesy of swiglife.com

Zero Proof Taste Test

It seems counter-intuitive to write about zero proof gin on Buzzed Boomer but there may be occasions when one wants to stay sober, or more sober, while still enjoying a cocktail.  Ritual intents to fill that need with their gin, whiskey and tequila substitutes.  I mixed up a “gin” and tonic with a little lime juice and, well, I can imagine it’s pretty close to some of the craft gins out there that toss in a bunch of botanicals on top of the juniper.  It didn’t taste like the Bombay or Hendricks I prefer but it kept my interest.  It was better and more tantalizing than just pure tonic water.

The mocktail served it’s purpose very nicely.  It was Saturday night, I wanted a cocktail, but I needed to stay sober.  Next, on to the “tequila” and “whiskey”.

– Jet Cannon

bass, club, elderly

My Favorite Martian

After a seven month journey, the Perserverance spacecraft recently landed safely on Mars.  Named for the Roman god of war related to its blood red color, Mars is a cool planet despite it’s hot color.  Over 33 million miles from Earth at it’s minimum distance, it has the highest volcanoes and deepest canyons in the solar system.  

Our favorite Martian is Martin O’Hara whose real name is Exigius 12 1/2 from the My Favorite Martian TV show..  Played by Ray Walston, Martin is 450 years old so Baby Boomers can relate.  Martin and his buddy Tim, played by Bill Bixby, avoided revealing Martin’s true identity over 107 episodes in the 1960’s.  And Baby Boomers, Tim drove a Plymouth Valiant.

With Mars on my mind, here’s a special cocktail:

My Favorite Martian

3 oz of blood orange juice

3 oz vodka

1/2 oz Cointreau

Add ingredients and ice to a shaker and shake for seven months.  Ha.  Pour into a cocktail glass and garnish with a floating orange slice and tiny antennas.  

– Jet Cannon

high angle view of lying down on grass

Sleep. The Magic Elixir

Buzzed Boomer is all about feeling good.  And catching a Buzz is a lot more fun if you’re already feeling great.  A good night’s sleep is key to good mental and physical health.  But getting a good night’s sleep isn’t always easy.  Lots of people want to help you.  It’s a Boomer business. Pillows, mattresses, white noise-makers, melatonin and other supplements, prescription drugs, herbs, chamomile tea, etc.  

Here’s something a little different we tried and liked.  Ceiling fan.  Not because it is too hot in the room.  It just gently provides fresh air and a cool pillow.  The gentle breeze really seems to help.   Add that to drinking less alcohol (quality not quantity), exercising during the day, and skipping the nap may improve your slumber.  Try the fan idea with a small floor or counter fan if you already have one.  The smaller ceiling fans are not expensive and can be installed where you might currently have an overhead light.  If you’ve tried everything else and you’re still having trouble sleeping, give it a go.   

– Jet Cannon

group of people gathering inside bar

Mix It Up

Variety is the spice of life and Buzzed Boomers are blessed with a gazillion choices when it comes to vices.  There are around 2500 beer brands in the US (not counting imports), over 8500 wineries, around 2000 distilleries, hundreds of hard cider and seltzer brands, and weed is legal in 15 states (medical marijuana in 35).  No need to get stuck in a rut.  Plus changing the Buzz scenery, combined with moderation, could help Boomers stay healthy so as to Buzz another day.  

I’m starting to rotate more marijuana into the mix so that I drink less.  Lots more choices at the weed store.  Getting advice from a twenty-something was entertaining.  Weed was less complicated back in the last century and also illegal.  But the free market has taken over.  Lots of edibles and liquids.  Oils.  Buds.  It’s a bit overwhelming. 

I’m being cautious.  My friend gave some marijuana brownies to a couple he knows.  They might have eaten too much.  They reported their best sex ever but then got so paranoid they called 911.  

– Jet Cannon