The missus and I are on the road. Gypsies. Nomads. Vagabonds. In addition to a fully stocked bar and cooler, we travel with a little cannabis. It’s all medicinal.
Our supply comes from two different hobby growers in Vermont. One of them even goes all in on the marketing by naming them based on the unique high they are meant to deliver (e.g. “Lazy River,” “Train Wreck” etc. And if you had asked me yesterday, I would have said, probably based on the gentle buzz and some regional pride, that “it’s pretty good stuff.” Apparently, my assessment of quality and potency has been impacted by a lack of experimentation during Covid. Last night we met some young folks in the next campsite. They offered us a peace pipe filled with recently purchase hemp from a store in Colorado. We each took 3 hits.
To say that our pot compared to theirs was like saying our Diet Pepsi compared to their Gin. That our sugar high compared to their acid trip.
Minutes later, I was hallucinating and elucidating to our new friends about how the machines were using AI to take over the planet from us humans (true, but this seemed hardly the time or place to get into it). I had been enjoying some Pale Ales to this point, and instantly recognized that if I drank another, I would wind up in the bushes. I decided it was time to remove myself from the campfire circle and prepare our dinner. When I got into the trailer’s galley, I became paralyzed with confusion and fear. I wasn’t really sure how to proceed with washing or chopping vegetables, or breading the chicken. These tasks seemed akin to defusing a bomb in terms of complexity and concentration. My wife soon joined me and her stupor was similar to my own.
Eventually, after meandering through a culinary corn maze, we got the feast on the grill. I ate a huge portion, then went back for seconds, then thirds, until about 2 lbs. of chicken was no more. Then we got into the Snickers bars. When that wasn’t enough, we got out the breakfast muffins and grilled those in butter. Still starving, I began to comb through the larder for more of anything edible. After eating most of the food we had for the next 2 nights, I went to bed still ravenous, and completely stoned out of my mind. There was lots of giggling and comedy sketch-worthy thoughts. But sadly none survived the night.
Be careful out there folks.
- Hunter S.
